The physical computers are called a 'cluster' but the act of getting them to work together is called 'distributed computing' (just a little more info to help with the google search). There are already people doing this in various flavours of linux (including the ones that ship with the RPi), thus there are packages available, ready built, to allow you to do it too. Sorry I can't help more, as I don't do distributed computing myself, but it sounds like you want to set up a 'Beowulf Cluster,' which the Pi computers are uniquely qualified to do. I am sorry I can't be more helpful, but I don't do distributed computing myself, though the Pi makes it tempting.
What you plan to do using your netbook is called a 'remote desktop' – but you can't use the computers together, but instead use the screen and keyboard of your netbook to do the work, but you are doing all the work on the RPi. There are various ways of doing this, but as others have said VNC would probably be the easiest. Good-luck!
Raspberry Pi (Raspbian) Tutorials by a fellow noob: