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Mandrewpi
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Lol- The joking thread

Thu Jan 01, 2015 8:34 pm

A dyslexic man walks into a dar
Last edited by Mandrewpi on Fri Jan 02, 2015 5:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
A computer is only as smart as its programmer. ;)

I own:
Pi B rev.2, Pi 2 B, Two Pi 3 B, Two Pi 3 b+, Pi 4 2Gb, Pi Zero 1.2, Pi Zero 1.3, Two Pi Zero Ws.
I'm known elsewhere as mandrew1444

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Mandrewpi
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Thu Jan 01, 2015 9:14 pm

Feel free to post your jokes cheesy or not

Jumper cables walk into a restaurant, the waiter says "don't start anything". :lol:
A computer is only as smart as its programmer. ;)

I own:
Pi B rev.2, Pi 2 B, Two Pi 3 B, Two Pi 3 b+, Pi 4 2Gb, Pi Zero 1.2, Pi Zero 1.3, Two Pi Zero Ws.
I'm known elsewhere as mandrew1444

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aTao
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Thu Jan 01, 2015 9:19 pm

Guy with a stammer gets asked "Why does your mate always call you donkey?"
Reply "Eeyore eeyore e' always calls me that"
>)))'><'(((<

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DougieLawson
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Thu Jan 01, 2015 9:22 pm

Why didn't the quantum particle cross the road?






Because he was probably already on both sides.
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aTao
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Thu Jan 01, 2015 9:23 pm

DougieLawson wrote:Why didn't the quantum particle cross the road?
Because I just saw its entangled pair cross the road.
>)))'><'(((<

paulie
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Thu Jan 01, 2015 11:05 pm

I couldn't afford an Xbox one or a PlayStation 4, so I consoled myself...
It has been my custom to use Xeyes

Ravenous
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Fri Jan 02, 2015 8:03 am

A brain goes into a bar, hops up onto a stool and asks for a drink.

The barman says "I'm not serving you alcohol - you're out of your head!"

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iinnovations
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Fri Jan 02, 2015 8:55 am

A neutron walks into a bar and asks "how much for a beer?" The bartender says, "for you? no charge."
CuPID Controls :: Open Source browser-based sensor and device control
interfaceinnovations.org/cupidcontrols.html
cupidcontrols.com

toxibunny
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Fri Jan 02, 2015 9:04 am

"knock knock"

"who's there?"

"Doctor who!"

:D :D :D
note: I may or may not know what I'm talking about...

Ravenous
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Fri Jan 02, 2015 9:08 am

If you drop a piano down a mineshaft, what key does it play in?
A Flat Minor. :?

BMS Doug
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Fri Jan 02, 2015 9:57 am

An Englishman, An Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar.....





.....The Barman says, "Is this some kind of a Joke?"
Doug.
Building Management Systems Engineer.

Ravenous
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Fri Jan 02, 2015 10:11 am

How many Banana Pi users does it take to change a light bulb?
None - they'll just wait for someone with a raspberry pi to fix it. ;)

jamesh
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Fri Jan 02, 2015 10:15 am

Ravenous wrote:How many Banana Pi users does it take to change a light bulb?
None - they'll just wait for someone with a raspberry pi to fix it. ;)
Now that was funny.
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PangolinPaws
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Fri Jan 02, 2015 10:44 am

A polar bear walks into a bar and says:
'Just... a beer please.'
'Why the big pause?' the barman asks.
Looking down, the polar bear says:
'I don't know, I was just born with them.'

:D
https://github.com/PangolinPaw

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aTao
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Fri Jan 02, 2015 12:48 pm

Some red tarmac, some grey tarmac and some green tarmac are having an argument.
Grey tarmac says to red tarmac "Don't mess with him, he's a cycle path"
>)))'><'(((<

Ravenous
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Fri Jan 02, 2015 12:51 pm

PangolinPaws wrote:'Why the big pause?' the barman asks.
A similar but old one, which I can't resist:

A horse walks into a bar and slowly, morosely walks towards the barman.
The barman asks, "Why the long face?"

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croston
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Fri Jan 02, 2015 2:40 pm

A duck walks into a bar.
"Do you have any bread?"
"No sorry. We just serve beer here. Maybe you'd like to try some?"
The duck sits there for a minute before talking.
"Got any bread?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
"NO!!!"
"Got any bread?"
"If you don't stop hassling me for bread then I'll nail your beak to the bar!"
The duck pauses for a moment.
"Got any nails?"
"No"
"Got any bread??? Got any bread??? Got any bread??? Got any bread??? ..........."

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Mandrewpi
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Fri Jan 02, 2015 5:11 pm

jamesh wrote:
Ravenous wrote:How many Banana Pi users does it take to change a light bulb?
None - they'll just wait for someone with a raspberry pi to fix it. ;)
Now that was funny.
Hilarious :lol: :lol:
A computer is only as smart as its programmer. ;)

I own:
Pi B rev.2, Pi 2 B, Two Pi 3 B, Two Pi 3 b+, Pi 4 2Gb, Pi Zero 1.2, Pi Zero 1.3, Two Pi Zero Ws.
I'm known elsewhere as mandrew1444

Ravenous
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Fri Jan 02, 2015 5:35 pm

How many Apple fanboys does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one - he stands on the ladder, holds the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around him :)

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aTao
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Fri Jan 02, 2015 5:48 pm

Duck goes into a library and asks for 3 books.
Librarian gives the duck a funny look, but also 3 books.
20 minutes later the duck returns with the 3 books and asks for 3 more.
Again the librarian gives the duck a funny look and 3 books.
20 minutes later... well you get the picture..

After a whole day of this the library is closing and the librarian just has to know what the duck is doing with all the books.
the duck says "Well, its not for me, its my friend the frog, he asked me to get him something to read, but all the books I take him, he just says "Reddit reddit reddit""
>)))'><'(((<

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rurwin
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Fri Jan 02, 2015 5:56 pm

How many Microsoft fanboys does it take to change a lightbulb?

None; they just declare darkness to be the new industry standard.

paulie
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Sat Jan 03, 2015 12:42 am

"You remind me of a TV game show"

"Mastermind?"

"No, Pointless!"
It has been my custom to use Xeyes

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Mandrewpi
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Sat Jan 03, 2015 4:25 am

rurwin wrote:How many Microsoft fanboys does it take to change a lightbulb?

None; they just declare darkness to be the new industry standard.
Hey I like Microsoft my phone surface and fav game is by Microsoft although I really like my pi Apple though eugghhh
A computer is only as smart as its programmer. ;)

I own:
Pi B rev.2, Pi 2 B, Two Pi 3 B, Two Pi 3 b+, Pi 4 2Gb, Pi Zero 1.2, Pi Zero 1.3, Two Pi Zero Ws.
I'm known elsewhere as mandrew1444

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Mandrewpi
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Sat Jan 03, 2015 4:57 am

Hey Ravenous is your refrigerator running?
A computer is only as smart as its programmer. ;)

I own:
Pi B rev.2, Pi 2 B, Two Pi 3 B, Two Pi 3 b+, Pi 4 2Gb, Pi Zero 1.2, Pi Zero 1.3, Two Pi Zero Ws.
I'm known elsewhere as mandrew1444

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rurwin
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Sat Jan 03, 2015 10:01 am

Mandrewpi wrote:Hey I like Microsoft my phone surface and fav game is by Microsoft although I really like my pi Apple though eugghhh
Here's an old one to round out the group.

How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

100.

1 to change the bulb and 99 to write document LB-345-567/LBX-04 Rev. 0065 Photon Emitting Device Exchange Process, 30% of which pages say only "This Page Intentionally Blank" and 70% of which consists of statements of the form "An X consists of an indefinite number of sequences of non-space characters separated by spaces."
paulie wrote:"You remind me of a TV game show"
"My Darling, life without you would be like a broken pencil."

"Hmm?"

"Pointless."

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