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liz
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Re: Computer jokes

Mon Apr 02, 2012 10:54 am

A joke from my lovely Dad, who was VERY VERY KEEN this weekend that I should give his joke, which he is very proud of, a wider airing. Drumroll please:

What's the difference between a computer and a woman?

A woman will not accept a 3.5in floppy.
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Isceald Glede
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Re: Computer jokes

Mon Apr 02, 2012 11:35 am

To err is human. To really screw up, you need a computer.

Ravenous
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Re: Computer jokes

Mon Apr 02, 2012 11:40 am

I'm almost afraid to mention "flash"...

Lynbarn
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Re: Computer jokes

Mon Apr 02, 2012 12:12 pm

Q: How many group posters does it take to change a light bulb?

A:

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...

another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb group

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb group about changing light bulbs be stopped

111 to defend the posting to this group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this group

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again....

Does this sound like any forum you know???

... and actually, computers are much more like women these days - very few are prepared to take a 3.5" floppy!

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Burngate
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Re: Computer jokes

Mon Apr 02, 2012 3:29 pm

Lynbarn said:


Q: How many group posters does it take to change a light bulb?

A:

1 ...



You forgot the poster who takes the thread OT to talk about food and/or cats

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Burngate
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Re: Computer jokes

Mon Apr 02, 2012 3:30 pm

liz said:


A joke from my lovely Dad, who was VERY VERY KEEN this weekend that I should give his joke, which he is very proud of, a wider airing. Drumroll please:

What's the difference between a computer and a woman?

A



I didn't know there was a difference

Or is that just nerdish?

Phil Spiegel
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Re: Computer jokes

Mon Apr 02, 2012 3:58 pm

The first 'computers' were women (there may have been a spelling difference?)

Others might suggest they were were the first to be calculating.

I couldn't possibly comment.

andri
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Re: Computer jokes

Mon Apr 02, 2012 4:10 pm

Ravenous said:


I"m almost afraid to mention "flash"…


How about "joy-stick"…..

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RaTTuS
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Re: Computer jokes

Mon Apr 02, 2012 4:22 pm

or Wang computers
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jojopi
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Re: Computer jokes

Mon Apr 02, 2012 4:41 pm

Lynbarn said:

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
I gather from this forum that "Me too" has been superseded by the equally vacuous and even less grammatical "+1" and "This".

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walney
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Re: Computer jokes

Mon Apr 02, 2012 5:16 pm

++

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walney
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Re: Computer jokes

Mon Apr 02, 2012 5:20 pm

Q: How many Microsoft designers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. (Darkness is a trademark of Microsoft. All rights reserved.)

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grumpyoldgit
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Re: Computer jokes

Mon Apr 02, 2012 5:21 pm

Ditto.

chorlton
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Re: Computer jokes

Mon Apr 02, 2012 5:35 pm

Did you hear about the electrical engineer who lived at 90 degrees to everyone else?

It was just a phase he was going through!

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johnbeetem
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Re: Computer jokes

Mon Apr 02, 2012 6:02 pm

chorlton said:


Did you hear about the electrical engineer who lived at 90 degrees to everyone else?

It was just a phase he was going through!


I thought the answer was that he was a normal EE.

I've heard that if you go to MIT, you'll sometimes see three students, one standing and two lying on the ground at a right angle with their feet adjacent to the stander.  They wait for someone to ask what they're doing so they can answer: "What's the matter?  Haven't you seen three normal people?"

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johnbeetem
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Re: Computer jokes

Mon Apr 02, 2012 6:08 pm

From the Old Jokes Home:

Q: What's this -- pieces of nine, pieces of nine.

A: A parrot-y error.

Q: How do you pronounce the surname of Niklaus Wirth, the inventor of Pascal?

A: If you call him by name, it's "veerth".  If you call him by value, it's "worth".

spurious
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Re: Computer jokes

Mon Apr 02, 2012 6:39 pm

The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed LINUX

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SN
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Re: Computer jokes

Mon Apr 02, 2012 7:43 pm

Apparently there are 10 kinds of people.

Those that understand binary
and those that don"t.
Steve N – binatone mk4->intellivision->zx81->spectrum->cbm64->cpc6128->520stfm->pc->raspi ?

Bad Wolf
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Re: Computer jokes

Mon Apr 02, 2012 8:00 pm

Computers are like air conditioners.

They work fine until you start opening windows.
To a person with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Michael
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Re: Computer jokes

Mon Apr 02, 2012 8:06 pm

SN said:


Apparently there are 10 kinds of people.

Those that understand binary
and those that don"t.



On a scale of 1 to 10, what is the likelihood this question is using binary?

BlankReg
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Re: Computer jokes

Mon Apr 02, 2012 11:02 pm

Q: How many Programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. (It's a hardware problem!)

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rurwin
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Re: Computer jokes

Tue Apr 03, 2012 6:46 am

John Beetem said:


From the Old Jokes Home:

Q: What's this -- pieces of nine, pieces of nine.

A: A parrot-y error.

Q: How do you pronounce the surname of Niklaus Wirth, the inventor of Pascal?

A: If you call him by name, it's "veerth".  If you call him by value, it's "worth".



I thought it was "Vert", but you may be right. If you say "the guy that invented Pascal", you're calling him by reference.

Ravenous
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Re: Computer jokes

Tue Apr 03, 2012 8:02 am

Of course old Pascal fans don't approve of C "because it's Wirthless"...

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crundy
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Re: Computer jokes

Tue Apr 03, 2012 9:44 am

I hear that a lot of programmers confuse halloween with christmas.  they say it's because OCT 31 = DEC 25

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crundy
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Re: Computer jokes

Tue Apr 03, 2012 9:44 am

A byte walks into a bar and orders a pint. Bartender asks him "What's wrong?" Byte says "Parity error." Bartender nods and says "Yeah, I thought you looked a bit off."

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